Day 78: No Change

I went to the doctor today, and was a little surprised that there has been no real change since last week, despite the contractions I've reported.  I am dilated to "slightly" more than a 2 and am still 75% effaced and haven't really had many contractions today.  Now that I'm 38 weeks along, I'm ready for this baby to come whenever he's ready, and was hoping that I'd made some progress so that this baby would come sooner rather than later.  J works five days a week starting next week at his new job, my mom is coming to help with the baby, and our insurance changes next week, so we'd like Baby Boy to come before things get more complicated schedule-wise and insurance-wise and while my mom is in town.  But we don't have a lot of control over the matter.  I am not going to go crazy with the home-induction techniques and herbal remedies which can actually do more harm than good, but I'm not against walking a few miles this weekend or trying some exercise positions to maybe convince this kid he wants to come.  I started wearing breast shells to help prepare my flat nipples for nursing, and the pressure from the shells can sometimes bring on contractions, but hasn't done so for me so far.  I've been doing a lot of walking, lifting, and cleaning in the last few days to prepare for labor, but the activity doesn't do a whole lot either.  I guess if Baby Boy is not ready, he's not ready and we just have to wait him out.  Next week I can schedule an induction for the following week, but we have to figure out when J is working that week and when my doctor is available if we go that route.  We're hoping that labor just naturally occurs. . . this weekend, preferably, but we shall see how it goes.      

 

No real change this week

Day 71: Something's Cookin' (Literally and Figuratively)

I've made some progress since last week:  I am now dilated to a 2 and about 75% effaced.  My doctor told me today that some women walk around that way for weeks, so now I'm just assuming that will be me.  That said, the baby has dropped even further into my pelvis (he's "getting to station") and she said my amniotic sac is lower too, so my water "could break soon" . . . whatever "soon means." Dr. M tells me "just two more weeks" at every appointment, so we shall see.  The last few weeks of pregnancy are still important developmentally (Baby gains weight, his brain continues to develop, and the finishing touches are put on all body systems), so I am glad that Baby is staying put, but I am now understanding why every other pregnant woman I know says the last few weeks of gestation are the worst (my feet hurt, I can't sleep comfortably, my back is aching from carrying around the baby and all this extra weight, etc., etc.).  Although my contractions are still irregular, I am having them more frequently, especially when I'm active like I was today.  So contractions could kick up a notch and break my water "soon," or maybe this kid will actually make it full term.  The longer Baby Boy is in there, the better, but I am getting to the point where I'm tired of being pregnant.  I will, however, do anything for my kids, so I'll stay pregnant (and uncomfortable) as long as Baby Boy needs me to.

I was pretty active today.  After I dropped B off at school and went to my doctor's appointment, I stopped at the store and got my foil pans and the few ingredients I didn't get yesterday for our post-baby freezer meals.  It's hard enough to get a meal on the table when you're not pregnant or haven't just had a baby, so I thought I'd try to get ahead of the game and make a few meals that we can take out of the freezer and just pop into the oven on a hectic day with a newborn.  I made Parmesan chicken, meatloaf, spaghetti sauce, homemade Sloppy Joe mix, stuffed shells, and Shepherd's Pie filling.  It took several hours and made for a lot of dishes and a dirty kitchen and standing that long made my feet hurt, but I'm glad to have the meals for later use.  It was a productive day:  the meals are done, B practiced reading with me and did his homework, and the kitchen is clean.  Hopefully all the activity has exhausted me enough to help me get a good night's sleep. 

 

Sorry the photos aren't very clear.  I used the auto-timer to take the shots of myself cooking, and it wasn't easy.    

 

Day 64: Worry Wart

It's been nice to be up and around today, without any movement restrictions.  I've managed to get a lot done, especially in comparison to the minimum amount of things I got done while on bed rest. Even with the distractions of cleaning the kitchen, attending playgroup with B, and grocery shopping for a few essentials, I am still worried about Baby Boy. I think moms start worrying about their children as soon as they find out they're pregnant, and don't stop worrying about them even when they're grown adults, of any age.  Although I am at the 36 week mark, I am still worried and will probably still worry until this baby is here, safe and healthy. 

I am dilated to a one and 70% effaced, and that could mean labor will occur sooner rather than later, but then again, who knows?  The real issue is that my doctor discussed more of my risk factors with me yesterday, and I can't stop thinking about them.  These risk factors could mean nothing, or they could mean serious complications for Baby Boy.  Whatever be the case, this pregnancy is even more of risk than we originally thought.  I thought being taken off of bed rest would leave me feeling less stressed, but I'm just as stressed now as I was when I went into labor nine weeks ago, but for different reasons.  In some ways, I just want him to get here so we can make sure he's fine, but in other ways, I know the longer he stays in utero, the better.  I just have to stop worrying about all the POSSIBLE risks and just keep plugging along.

My amniotic fluid levels are a tiny bit on the high end, so I have very mild polyhydramnios. I have 20.5 centimeters of fluid, which is only a  1/2  centimeter above the norm, so doctors aren't too worried at this point.  But if it the levels get higher in the next few weeks, it could be indicative of a huge problem for baby such as esophageal issues where the baby isn't swallowing correctly, heart and neurological defects, and fetal abnormalities.  There is also a higher risk of placental abruption or prolapse during birth, as well as postpartum hemorrhaging.  Thankfully, I don't really have any of the risk factors associated with high water (a tummy measuring weeks ahead, a baby measuring much larger than normal, third trimester bleeding, severe abdominal pain, and swelling of the limbs).  The milder the case of polhydramnios, the better, so I have that going for me, as fluid levels are only slightly higher than normal.  I am further cheered by the fact that ultrasounds haven't shown anything wrong with the baby and from the looks of the ultrasound yesterday, it look like his kidneys, heart, and bladder are functioning properly.  More often than not, higher fluid levels do not lead to any complications, so I'm pretty sure these results are just causing me unnecessary worry, but it's still unnerving.   

The doctor also wants me to measure Baby Boy's movements every night to make sure Baby is still active and not in possible distress.  Today and yesterday he's been moving just fine, but this weekend, it seemed like movement decreased significantly. Doctors explained that's likely because he's even more cramped than most babies because of my uterine abnormality and doesn't have a lot of room to move.  Higher fluid levels can make movements harder to detect, as can the fact that he's facing my back and is very low in my pelvis.  So I'll be vigilant about "kick counts" and I'm sure if I'm watching closely, I'll notice them more than I did this weekend, just as I have in the past two days.  I was glad to have the ultrasound yesterday to make sure everything  Baby was moving and growing OK, and I pray that everything continues to be that way.

I also tested positive for Group B Strep (25% of women are natural carriers without even knowing it).  This means that I will need antibiotics during labor to keep the baby from contracting it when coming through the birth canal.  For babies, Strep B can be extremely dangerous and even fatal.  I'm sure that with the antibiotics, the baby  will be fine.  That just means I need to get to the hospital with enough time for them to administer the antibiotics.  Sometimes women who have a history of pre-term labor progress very quickly once actual labor ensues, so the doctor wants me to arrive when I'm having contractions about 7 minutes apart and lasting 40 seconds or more, rather than the 4-5 minutes apart they tell most women.  That way, they will have enough time to administer the anti-strep medication and the epidural I'm looking forward to.  If my water breaks, I have to go in as soon as possible so there aren't any complications caused to the baby because of the strep.  I'm assuming I'll know when I am in actual labor (though I don't know when that will be) and be able to get to the hospital and get the antibiotics in time, but it's another issue that causes me worry. 

There are most likely no problems with Baby Boy's development and even with the risk factors, everything should turn out fine for the remainder of my pregnancy, during labor and delivery, and after birth.  I am trying to stay optimistic and not look at research on the above issues that just freaks me out.  I'm also trying to remember that I am in the hands of capable doctors who are just preparing me for the worst, as most likely, none of these things will cause any harm to the baby - I've decided sometimes being less educated about issues like this, is better and leads to less worry.  Even with the likelihood of a good outcome, prayers that everything goes well with the remainder of this pregnancy (how ever long that will be) and that Baby Boy will be born healthy are appreciated.  And maybe saying a prayer for me not to worry so much would help too.

Day 43: My Doctor Is Getting Greedy

At my 33 week appointment today, my doctor found that my cervix is still short but stable.  As of now, it's closed and measures a little less than 2 centimeters according to her calculations.  (Measuring cervical length and dilation without ultrasound is pretty relative . . . when I went into labor at 28 weeks, one nurse said I was dilated to a one and another said I wasn't dilated at all).  Whatever be the case, stability is good news.  It's funny though because my doctor was first hoping for 30 weeks, then 32, then 34 weeks for this baby (I know I'm not there yet).  Now that I've made it this far and everything is still stable, my contractions haven't caused cervical change and dilation, and medications are working, she's pushing for 37 weeks so I have a baby we can take home.  Last week, Dr. M. said "four more weeks," and today she again said "Four more weeks."  I think I can do it, though I'm sure the next four weeks will be long ones.  At least I only have three more weeks of bed rest and medication.  I'm continuing to take it one day a time, but I think it's funny that my doctor is getting greedy for more time, and so am I.  Maybe I'll even go full-term!      

 

 

Day 36: Time Off For Good Behavior

As a celebration for reaching 32 weeks, I had someone come in and give me a haircut, manicure, pedicure, and eyebrow wax.  All these things, except the haircut, were done at home while in a reclining or laying position (per doctor's stipulations).  It felt SO good to have my feet massaged, my hair done, and to feel better because I look better.  Let's face it, after a few days sick in bed, most of us feel our worst and don't want to look in the mirror.  After weeks of bed rest and throwing my hair in a messy bun, laying around thinking about how gross my feet were getting, and feeling like I was going to look like Bert from Sesame Street soon if something wasn't done about my eyebrows, it was time.  It was a great morale booster and felt so good to be pampered before my doctor's appointment this afternoon (Read on for news about that). 

The salon treatment and doctor's appointment today made for the most exciting day I've had in weeks.  We had some really good news.  The ultrasound showed Baby Boy is measuring great (about 4 pounds, 6 ounces), mostly because he has a big head (that measured 35 weeks while his tummy and thighs measured smaller and averaged 32-33 weeks).  The baby has his face turned toward my back, so we didn't get a profile shot but he has a very nice back of the head.  (I don't know what I'm going to do if he's already refusing to pose and smile for pictures at this very tender age).  I am also happy to report that my cervix is still stable even with all the contractions I've had lately.  There's some more "funneling/"opening where Baby's head is pressing on my cervix, but that's to be expected because I carry low and my cervix has shortened so dramatically.  

With B, my amniotic fluid levels were a little high the week he was born, which can indicate an abnormality (Down Syndrome, cleft pallet, neurological problems) or more likely, low kidney function for the baby.  So doctors will do another ultrasound in a few weeks just to make sure all my levels look good and Baby Boy is still thriving.  I'm not going to freak out unless we see that again and Baby is in danger.   I know I am being watched closely by wonderful doctors, and that is very comforting, and as I said, I know the Lord is watching out for us too. I'm pleased that everything looked good today, and I'll keep pressing on in bed rest journey so we can get to that 36 week mark or beyond.        

B's sticking out his tongue that was made blue by the Jolly Rachers that are always his first stop at the OB office.

Day 30: Stablity

At my doctor's appointment today, Dr. W. found that everything is still stable and Baby Boy is still hanging in there, and we're all happy about that.  Even the more frequent contractions lately haven't caused any real cervical change, so that's even better.  She suggested a maternity support belt to ease abdominal pressure and uterine irritability, especially since I am carrying so low, so I'll see how that works.  Besides that, Dr. W. just wants me to take it a week at a time, and we'll go from there.  32 weeks is a huge milestone because most of Baby's development is stable by then, and then it's mostly a matter of lung maturation (which I had shots to help the little guy with and can get another dose of if labor occurs before 34 weeks) and weight gain (which can occur outside the womb).  So only 4 1/2 days to go until then, and that's doable, and we'll go for the next milestone from there.

I had a routine Non-Stress-Test (NST) to monitor contractions while there and Baby Boy sounded good on the monitors and I only had some minor uterine irritability, without having any contractions, which is our goal.  Knowing things are stable gives me some peace of mind and the confidence we can make it another week.  Stability in this pregnancy also allows me to focus on B and J a little more.  Now I can better support J who is having major anxiety while he prepares to take his state nursing boards next week and is currently applying for a job in his unit.  I can also provide B a routine to help him cope with the changes he's experienced.  So I'm very grateful for the blessings stability brings, and I pray it continues.

I found the following mantra on a fellow bed rest blog, and I liked her thoughts on stability so much I thought I'd share:

 

As long as I am in a stable state, I need not worry.
As long as I am not having contractions, I can relax.
As long as I am not feeling pain, I can remain still.
As long as I focus on the likelihood of making it further, I can find hope.
As long as I have faith, I can find peace.  
-- Ashley Potter, Bedrestboutique.com

Day 18: Snowboarding and Doctor's Appointment

J and his dad took B snowboarding for the first time today.  J desperately wants to get back on a snowboard himself, but he needs to wait a few more weeks after breaking his hip, scapula, and a couple of ribs in a snowboarding accident last month.  So taking B and teaching him to snowboard this season is the next best thing.  B had an absolute blast and J had to call it quits long before B wanted to leave.  He said "doing zig zags" was his favorite thing, and J was impressed with how well B did his first time snowboarding.  My husband is working on a video of B in action, so I'll have to post that later.   

While the boys were gone I took it easy (what else would I be doing on bed rest?) and watched a movie and read.  I also looked up some crocheting basics so I can learn this new skill.  I'm hoping to crochet a hat for this little one, but we'll see how that goes.  I actually enjoyed my time on bed rest.  My mother-in-law also came over and took me to my OB appointment and ultrasound where I got some reassuring news.

My cervix is staying stable!  It's very short, but it hasn't changed since last week, even with all the contractions I've had.  As long as its stable, I can take comfort in the fact that Baby Boy is still in utero and my body is holding out to allow this baby to continue to grow and develop (I was able to get to 35 weeks with my B, so I can hold out for at least as long again).  As hard as bed rest is, it's working, so I'll continue to do it.  Most people will do anything for their kids, and I am no exception.  If bed rest is what this baby needs, I'm willing to do it, even if the days are long.  I'm reassured by the fact that Baby Boy is growing and my cervix is hanging in there.  Baby Boy is pretty low in my pelvis, so the ultrasound techs have had trouble getting face and profile shots, but today she was at least able to show me a little of his face.  This shot was as good as it gets, but now I can look at this face and think about how worth it this is for him.  

It's hard to make out but you're seeing his forehead, nose, and mouth, which he has his hand to- we might have a thumb-sucker on our hands.

29 weeks, 4 days (Sorry it's hard to make out my belly in these shots, but it's getting bigger, I promise.  And, don't worry, I got back in bed as soon as B took the picture below).