Day 43: My Doctor Is Getting Greedy

At my 33 week appointment today, my doctor found that my cervix is still short but stable.  As of now, it's closed and measures a little less than 2 centimeters according to her calculations.  (Measuring cervical length and dilation without ultrasound is pretty relative . . . when I went into labor at 28 weeks, one nurse said I was dilated to a one and another said I wasn't dilated at all).  Whatever be the case, stability is good news.  It's funny though because my doctor was first hoping for 30 weeks, then 32, then 34 weeks for this baby (I know I'm not there yet).  Now that I've made it this far and everything is still stable, my contractions haven't caused cervical change and dilation, and medications are working, she's pushing for 37 weeks so I have a baby we can take home.  Last week, Dr. M. said "four more weeks," and today she again said "Four more weeks."  I think I can do it, though I'm sure the next four weeks will be long ones.  At least I only have three more weeks of bed rest and medication.  I'm continuing to take it one day a time, but I think it's funny that my doctor is getting greedy for more time, and so am I.  Maybe I'll even go full-term!      

 

 

Day 30: Stablity

At my doctor's appointment today, Dr. W. found that everything is still stable and Baby Boy is still hanging in there, and we're all happy about that.  Even the more frequent contractions lately haven't caused any real cervical change, so that's even better.  She suggested a maternity support belt to ease abdominal pressure and uterine irritability, especially since I am carrying so low, so I'll see how that works.  Besides that, Dr. W. just wants me to take it a week at a time, and we'll go from there.  32 weeks is a huge milestone because most of Baby's development is stable by then, and then it's mostly a matter of lung maturation (which I had shots to help the little guy with and can get another dose of if labor occurs before 34 weeks) and weight gain (which can occur outside the womb).  So only 4 1/2 days to go until then, and that's doable, and we'll go for the next milestone from there.

I had a routine Non-Stress-Test (NST) to monitor contractions while there and Baby Boy sounded good on the monitors and I only had some minor uterine irritability, without having any contractions, which is our goal.  Knowing things are stable gives me some peace of mind and the confidence we can make it another week.  Stability in this pregnancy also allows me to focus on B and J a little more.  Now I can better support J who is having major anxiety while he prepares to take his state nursing boards next week and is currently applying for a job in his unit.  I can also provide B a routine to help him cope with the changes he's experienced.  So I'm very grateful for the blessings stability brings, and I pray it continues.

I found the following mantra on a fellow bed rest blog, and I liked her thoughts on stability so much I thought I'd share:

 

As long as I am in a stable state, I need not worry.
As long as I am not having contractions, I can relax.
As long as I am not feeling pain, I can remain still.
As long as I focus on the likelihood of making it further, I can find hope.
As long as I have faith, I can find peace.  
-- Ashley Potter, Bedrestboutique.com

Day 18: Snowboarding and Doctor's Appointment

J and his dad took B snowboarding for the first time today.  J desperately wants to get back on a snowboard himself, but he needs to wait a few more weeks after breaking his hip, scapula, and a couple of ribs in a snowboarding accident last month.  So taking B and teaching him to snowboard this season is the next best thing.  B had an absolute blast and J had to call it quits long before B wanted to leave.  He said "doing zig zags" was his favorite thing, and J was impressed with how well B did his first time snowboarding.  My husband is working on a video of B in action, so I'll have to post that later.   

While the boys were gone I took it easy (what else would I be doing on bed rest?) and watched a movie and read.  I also looked up some crocheting basics so I can learn this new skill.  I'm hoping to crochet a hat for this little one, but we'll see how that goes.  I actually enjoyed my time on bed rest.  My mother-in-law also came over and took me to my OB appointment and ultrasound where I got some reassuring news.

My cervix is staying stable!  It's very short, but it hasn't changed since last week, even with all the contractions I've had.  As long as its stable, I can take comfort in the fact that Baby Boy is still in utero and my body is holding out to allow this baby to continue to grow and develop (I was able to get to 35 weeks with my B, so I can hold out for at least as long again).  As hard as bed rest is, it's working, so I'll continue to do it.  Most people will do anything for their kids, and I am no exception.  If bed rest is what this baby needs, I'm willing to do it, even if the days are long.  I'm reassured by the fact that Baby Boy is growing and my cervix is hanging in there.  Baby Boy is pretty low in my pelvis, so the ultrasound techs have had trouble getting face and profile shots, but today she was at least able to show me a little of his face.  This shot was as good as it gets, but now I can look at this face and think about how worth it this is for him.  

It's hard to make out but you're seeing his forehead, nose, and mouth, which he has his hand to- we might have a thumb-sucker on our hands.

29 weeks, 4 days (Sorry it's hard to make out my belly in these shots, but it's getting bigger, I promise.  And, don't worry, I got back in bed as soon as B took the picture below).

Day 11: A Blow to the Ego- Still Progressing

After being cooped up in the house for almost two weeks and only getting out of bed to use the bathroom for the last four days, I was ready for an outing.  You know you're hard up when a doctor's appointment is the highlight of your day!  But because I have trouble sleeping at night after resting all day, I ignored the alarm this morning.  Of course today was also the day B slept in because of his cold, and J, who has been working a stretch of nights, didn't wake up either.  So we all woke up at 9, the same time as my appointment, but we rushed to the OB office anyway.  Somehow I spilled  my water all over J on the way there, so I came in flustered and J came in agitated and wet.  Thankfully, the doctor still managed to get me in for my appointment even though we were over a half hour late. 

I was very disappointed to hear from the ultrasound tech that my cervix has shortened eight more millimeters since Monday, even with bed rest.  I've felt occasional contractions the last few weeks, and have noticed them more while laying down all day, but I was hoping they wouldn't cause cervical change now that I'm totally inactive.  Unfortunately, they have.  I couldn't help but feel like my bed-resting efforts over the last 96 hours were in vain, though J reminded me that it could be worse if I wasn't being diligent about bed rest.  He's right, but it was still an emotional blow that caused tears throughout the day and made me even more worried about the possibility of an extremely premature baby, and I was super stressed and basically an emotional wreck.  J has a hard time dealing with crying and doesn't really know how to help me, but he's being as supportive as possible, especially since he's still not feeling so great with his broken bones and taking on all my responsibilities.  I tried to hold it in, but I still got weepy several times and if J didn't notice, B would say, "Dad, Mom's crying again." It was just an emotional blow to hear that bed rest hasn't kept preterm labor from progressing and I was upset that I'm not a better baby carrier.

The baby's head has also dropped further into my pelvis (ready for delivery) so he's putting more pressure on my cervix and making my uterus measure 25 weeks rather than 28, which also has me worried.  In fact, his head is so far down, the ultrasound tech couldn't even get a face or profile shot like I was hoping for.  Baby Boy is only 2 pounds,10 ounces so WAY too small to be born, and he still has A LOT of developing to do.  Thankfully my cervix is still closed (not dilated) so my doctor said I could continue bed rest at home as long as I comply to strict bed rest.  J has been quite the "bed rest enforcer" ("Lay down, let me get it.  Quit lifting thing!  You're laying crooked.").  B also tattles when I get up, even if I'm going to the bathroom.  J keeps reminding me that bed rest is for the best and I'm lucky to be doing it at home where I can be with my family (and see B for more than 45 minutes a day), have resources (DVDs, games, computer, books, etc.), and be able to wear my own pajamas, shower, and use the bathroom rather than a bed-pan at the hospital.  He's right; I am lucky, even though bed rest is not easy nor ideal.  So enough of the pity-party; I can do this for Baby Boy!

 

I have another appointment in a week and if I'm at all dilated or if my cervix measures less than a centimeter (which is not too far off), they'll admit me to the hospital until labor can no longer be stopped with medication and other measures.   I'm praying that doesn't happen so I can stay at home on bed rest.  Doctors are hoping for 34 weeks, but realistically think he'll come at 32.  I'm hoping and praying for 36 even if that means more bed rest. My condition is nerve-wracking, but delivery isn't imminent yet and my body held out before even when dilated, so it can hold out again.

 

I just have to have a good attitude and take it one day at a time and remember each day Baby Boy stays in the womb is a victory.  I know I can't dictate everything as far as when this baby actually arrives, but I can do my part by remaining as still as possible and keeping weight off my cervix and keeping contractions at bay.  I am trying to count my blessings and find joy in the simple things (like snuggling with B while we work on reading, a daily shower or bath, and being waited on). 

 

I have decided to find moments each day that get me through.  Today's highlights were seeing B conduct the music he was listening to (the Piano Guys) with Legos, playing the Headbanz game and laughing with B, and that J tried numerous times to make me feel better even though I'm sure he is exasperated with his hormonal and weepy wife.  My gratitude moment was that my mother-in-law came over to help with B while J is at work, and  she did some housework and brought dinner.

 

When it comes down to it, there is hope (even if I'm scared about the possibility of a pre-mature baby).  There are numerous success stories about mothers with the similar prenatal issues as mine having babies that make it almost or to- term with bed rest.  I know that prayers are answered and that my faith can get me through.  Even though it's hard, Baby Boy is so worth this and I have to remember I'm doing this for him!

Days 1-7: Bed Rest Week 1 (27 Weeks)

It was one week ago that I received the disappointing news:  I was sentenced to bed rest at 27 weeks pregnant with our second child, another boy.  I received this verdict because I am guilty of cervical insufficency (also known as cervical incompetence) and being in possession of an extremely irritable bicornuate uterus that contracts too early.  Thankfully I can serve my sentence at home and not at a local correctional facility ie. the hospital. 

Because I experienced similar issues with our first child, B, who was born at 35 weeks, doctors have been measuring my cervix since I  was 16 weeks along with this baby.  They put me on the hormone Progesterone to keep my cervix from shortening (effacing) and dilating  too early like it did before .  As of 24 weeks, my cervical length was within average range, and it was deemed that a cervical stitch (cerclage) shouldn't be used in my case because I have early contractions.  The possibility of uterine rupture is their main concern.  At that point, I was released from the care of the perinatologist (high-risk pregnancy specialist) to go back to my OB for full-care, because the specialist thought I was in good shape. 

But about two and a half weeks ago (25 1/2 weeks, about the same time my husband, J, broke his scapula, hip, and several ribs in a snowboarding accident), I started having contractions.   My cervix also measured far shorter than it should at this stage,  just like during my first pregnancy.  Last week (27 weeks), I went to the doctor who prescribed bed rest after further cervical effacement and a positive fetal Fibronectin test which tests for preterm labor.  Their hope is that laying down 24/7 will keep the pressure of my growing uterus off my cervix and keep it from further effacement and any dilation because it's way too early for this baby to come.  I also got steroid shots last week to help develop the baby's lungs this week in case of a pre-term birth. 

Interestingly enough, I went into labor at 27 weeks with our first born five and a half years ago and was put on modified bed rest with him.  It seems that as soon as my babies get around the 2 pound mark, my cervix has a hard time handling it without causing contractions and pre-term dilation.  I held out until 35 weeks with B, so I can hold out again, and hopefully for longer this time.

Last week, I started taking medicine to stop the contractions, I stopped doing housework and cooking, and I stayed in bed or on the couch as much as possible.  But I have to admit I was up and around way more than I should have been.  I helped our son get meals and picked him up from kindergarten, I took J to doctor's appointments for his broken bones since he couldn't drive himself, I washed dishes, and I wrapped presents.  I also drove a scooter around at the store to stock up on what we needed while B and J (who was pushing with the arm that isn't in a sling) followed me with the cart.

I guess one might say that last week, I more so took it easy or did modified bed rest as opposed to the prescribed strict bed rest.  But this afternoon after further cervical change, my doctor said she'd bring me into the hospital, away from my family, if I didn't comply with her bed rest rules  -- laying horizontal 24 hours a day, only sitting up for meals and getting up to go to the bathroom.  Being active puts too much strain on my cervix, and the bottom line is this baby needs more time, and I can get that only through strict bed rest and no activity.  J feels validated because he's been telling me all week to stop doing the things I've been doing.  The doctor scared me by talking about the realities of a baby born this early. So I've been laying on my back or side for the last few hours, and I have to admit, I already want to get up, but I know I need to stay down for the sake of this baby.  Above is a photo of me and B from week one of "bed rest."  I just have to keep telling myself that bedrest will be worth it in the end.