Day 23: Family Stress

I knew bed rest would take its toll on me, but I didn't, however, anticipate how life-changing this experience would be for my son and husband.  Bed rest is stressful for me because I'm worried about the baby 24/7, I can't give B the normalcy he needs while laying down, and I can't carry out my usual duties that help our house run and take pressure off of J.  I also don't like depending on J (and others) for all my needs and feel extremely demanding.  It's been hard for me to let go of some things, but I'm managing to live with messes like the ones below.  It's difficult to find a good balance right now while I'm down and out and because J is taking on so much, he is super stressed, and I know B is feeling a bit traumatized by all this too.  I hate how much my being laid up has disrupted their lives. 

 

Like I mentioned the other day, J is preparing to take his state boards but even with others' help, because he's been taking care of me and B, cooking meals at my demand, and doing chores, he hasn't been able to study much.  That's something he needs to do so he can pass his test and start working.  I can't help but feel that my being on bed rest a hindrance to his progress because he worries so much about me and is trying to be at my beckon call.  He's even mentioned that it was easier for him not to worry about my needs when I was in the hospital.   The stress while I'm on bed rest has caused  some tension, but I have to remember we're all just doing our best, and we have to cut each other some slack.  I know J is going out of his way to serve me, so all I can do is show my appreciation in return and help how I can.  Speaking of serving, if anyone has any SUPER easy meal ideas so he doesn't feel so burdened, that would be great.  I have some crock pot and casserole recipes he can throw together, but it's still stressful for him to do much meal prep when he's trying to study, work, and take care of his family.   

B has also been feeling the stress.  The poor kid has had MAJOR meltdowns the last two nights and even cried himself to sleep.  I can't help but feel he's traumatized and that it's my fault because I can't parent and function normally while on bed rest.  Adjusting to me being on bed rest has been difficult on all  of us, and I pray that we can find the balance we need to survive this AND get Baby here safely in as many weeks as possible. I'm just thankful that each day gives us a fresh start.  I'm also thankful for prayer which I know can get our entire family (including Baby Boy) through this difficult time.  This afternoon was much better, as I had dinner planned, B and I did our reading time, and we started taking down the Christmas decor (It's about time, I know).  Hopefully this trend continues and we can find a "normal" for life on bed rest.

Day 20: Quotables

I'm trying to make Sundays a little different than other days, so while J and B are at Church, I watch Conference talks and read scriptures.  Honestly though, one day of bed rest is pretty much like another (unless of course I decide to go into preterm labor, see the doctor, or my husband and son have something exciting going on).  But I'd rather things be quiet around here in regards to bed rest, that's for sure.  So because today was pretty uneventful (thankfully), I decided to memorialize some quotes from the past week or two.

J:  "You're the only person I know who could get bruised on bed rest."
Me:  "Besides maybe my mother."

B playing with his new Bristle Blocks which he'd shaped into a phone:  "No, I can't right now.  I'm having contractions.".  (I wonder where he got that from?).

B, last Monday morning when he called me at the hospital after sleeping in our bed with J:  "Guess what, when Daddy woke up, I had my feet in his mouth. That's so silly."
J:  "No, that's gross."
Me:  "I told you that you move around too much when you sleep in our bed."
B:  "No, I don't."

Nurse, when trying to get Baby Boy's heartbeat on the monitor:  "Your baby is a worm.  I mean he's really wiggly.  I mean he's really moving around in there.  Sorry I fumbled that.  I hope you're not offended." 
(Not at all.  I'm just glad he's active).

B:  "Mom, can't you go back to the hospital so I can keep sleeping in your bed with Daddy?"

B:  "I didn't sleep a wink."
J:  "You didn't sleep well, son?"
B:  No, that means I slept good; I didn't open my eyes at all."

B, on Christmas Eve after praying that "everyone can go to sleep so Santa can come," came out and told me and J to go to bed and said, "Don't you want Santa to come?"

B, when a friend brought us dinner.  "I don't know why someone would just bring us butter and crackers. "  There was chili in the butter tub.

Mother-in-law:  "I have to clip my hair back."
Me:  "What?  You have to clip your hairy back?" 
MIL clarified
Me:  "Oh good, I was getting grossed out there for a second."  (Lots of laughter to follow).

B:  "Mom, are you ever going to make dinner again?" 

B, talking to Grandma on phone:  "Mom was pretty good at laying down today." 

Day 19: An Awesome Husband

Being on bed rest is difficult for me, and I know B's had to make a lot of adjustments because Mommy has to lay down all day, but it's also taking its toll on J.  He is taking on all my responsibilities, caring for B, getting meals on the table (or tray, in my case), all while carrying his normal work load.  He even does dishes, which is something he abhors.  He's also taken me to and from the hospital, makes my bed every morning, positions my pillows and makes sure I'm set up for the day before he leaves so I can stay in bed.  J also helps me comply with bed rest, though I don't always like hearing that I'm laying wrong, messing up things he just did, or pushing my limits by lifting things, sitting up too much, or "just getting one thing."  He is trying to help me be comfortable, to help me complain a little less (the way I lay dictates whether my back or neck hurt), and ultimately, to help me get Baby Boy here safely and healthily.  All I have to do is lay here while he takes on all the stress.  Plus, he's still healing from his snowboarding accident (I know he's pushing himself to the limits as far as his own comfort and health go in order to help me), and he has his state boards to study for as well.  I have it easy compared to that, so I appreciate my husband who is giving it his all and being patient with me, even though this whole bed rest thing is hard for him too.

 

Contractions get worse for me at night, and I don't want to get used to taking sleeping pills, so I kept J up last night with my inability to get comfortable, so he was tired today, especially after taking B snowboarding yesterday.  But he still got up to help me and B.  He also trudged through four inches of snow and took B to the grocery store to tackle my list, and he even used the coupons I pulled out for him (while on bed rest I've given up couponing for the most part, but still try to use the ones I have).  J is NOT a shopper, so I appreciate that he did that for me. Grocery delivery might still be in our future, though.

 

J did get in a much needed nap while I hung out and read with B.  J went to work and my mother-in-law took his place.  We've had a nice evening of movies, stories, and games.  As busy as I kept today, there were times I forgot I'm laid up, and it's nice to have distractions.  Honestly, bed rest isn't ALL bad, and I know I'm helping out Baby Boy, so I can't complain (well too much anyway).

 

By the way, J already gags at the fact that I'm blogging about bed rest, but I like using it as a journal and chronicling this time in my life, and it's also somewhat therapeutic.  He'd really gag at this post, but I don't care.  I want people to know he's being great through all this.