Day 48: Super Bowl Sunday

J and I aren't big sports people, but we watched the Super Bowl this evening because B wanted to.  At B's school the last few Fridays, they have had "Broncos Day" and in P.E., they've practiced throwing and catching "like Payton Manning."  His friends talk about football at school, and he wants to do what his friends are doing.  So when B asked to watch some football with Dad, J couldn't deny him.  We went over to my in-laws so we could watch it (we don't have our TV hooked up for anything besides DVD watching), and I laid on their couch and bed rested for a few hours there.  B didn't really watch much, especially since he was annoyed that the Broncos didn't score for most of the game, but we enjoyed some grilled burgers and the game (I was secretly rooting for the Seahawks).  It was nice to get out of the house again, even if it was only for a few hours.  Other than that, there's not much to report.  I've had very few contractions and pregnancy-related aches and pains today, and I slept better last night than I have been (I hope that trend continues tonight).  It was a fun day, and I'm excited that tomorrow I'll be 34 weeks along.

B, annoyed that the Broncos are losing, but having fun watching the game

Day 41: Staying the Course

After almost 6 weeks of bed rest, lots of contractions and uterine irritability, two scares that required hospital visits, J's state boards, meltdowns from B, and other stresses, I finally feel I can breathe a sigh of relief.  Tomorrow I'll be 33 weeks along!  Baby Boy would likely do pretty well if born at this stage, though he'd still be early and have to stay in the NICU.  My cervix, albeit very short, is hanging in there, and I haven't had many unbearable contraction episodes this week.  I'm managing to stay busy and positive and am still plugging along.  I am also confident in the blessing I got last week that said that my body would be able to continue to protect the baby for "several more weeks."  Now that J has passed his test and we're in less of a crisis mode as far as Baby Boy is concerned, I feel a lot more safe and secure, and I'm grateful for that.  That doesn't mean I won't stay the course.  I've made it this far and won't give up anytime soon.  I'm still hoping for 36 weeks or beyond, but in the meantime, I will just take it day by day and count every day I stay pregnant as a blessing.

Day 34: Anti-Gravity Therapy and Coping with UI

I debated on posting a photo today because it shows me in a rather awkward position (literally), but I've decided to bear it all on this blog, so posting it prevailed.  I have been in this position off and on throughout the day.  It seems to alleviate some of the discomfort of uterine irritability (UI), contractions, and the pressure Baby Boy is putting on my pelvis. 

Yesterday was awful with so many contractions and the pain and tightening caused by uterine irritability.  Lately my uterus feels like one big rock or tightened fist and I've had menstrual like cramps along with the contractions.  I was mercifully able to sleep last night without a sleeping pill and only minor discomfort.  A bath this morning helped me relax, but they came back soon after and have been consistent ever since.  I am just trying to ignore and endure them as best and for as long as possible, hoping that they're not doing anything to change my cervix.  As long as they're not, I can soldier on, even with the pain, if it helps Baby Boy get closer to term.  But the feeling of anxiety over the possibility that labor could escalate and result in a very premature baby still looms.

Medical personnel say that although contractions caused by uterine irritability can be painful they usually do not cause cervical change and should not be worrisome.  However, in all the research I've done, it is also pointed out that with UI, or frequent Braxton Hicks type contractions (which are the type of contractions pregnant women are typically told not to worry about), could in fact, lead to preterm labor/cervical change and premature birth.  If UI really does not cause dilation and true labor, doctors suggest some think women with an irritable uterus should have no reason to worry and should just go about their daily lives, dealing with mild discomfort to severe pain, but not needing to be concerned about preterm labor and birth.  Because I have no idea whether I'm going to go into preterm labor or if Baby Boy will hang on for the long haul, enduring UI contractions is nerve-wracking.

      

I am already doing all the things I can to prevent further contractions (resting, laying on my left side, drinking lots of water, emptying my bladder, baths, hot water bottle), so it's annoying that they are still plaguing me. I've also been told to go to Labor and Delivery if my contractions change or get more intense or if I am experiencing pain.  This is a muddy description because they're always changing and more painful lately, though I'm getting better at waiting them out to see if they eventually mellow, which they thankfully have. But as I said, there is always the worry that they're causing problems.  I was telling my mom that when I was pregnant with B (my first pregnancy) I wasn't as concerned as I am this time around because I thought most of the aches and pains were normal for pregnancy and then I was only on modified bed rest.  I also didn't realize the dangers of preterm labor and how hard it is to have a premature baby.  Thankfully B was only five weeks early and was pretty healthy albeit small (5 lbs., 1 oz).  He was on a C-Pap for an hour and only had a five day stay in the NICU while he learned to eat. I probably could have gone longer if the contractions weren't so constant (every two minutes for two weeks) and they weren't dilating my cervix.  At that point, I was dilated to a five and the doctor decided to break my water.  We are so thankful B did so well and want the best chance for this baby to do the same thing.  B was and is a blessing and he is so worth all the bed rest, pain, and discomfort I experienced.  This baby will be too.

   

Sometimes we are asked to brave difficult and painful experiences to help us in the future. I got a blessing today to help with my discomfort (both physical and emotional), and that helped.  I know Heavenly Father is watching over us and that He loves us, though we sometimes have to suffer to bring us closer to Him and get something great in return (like a healthy newborn).  So I have faith that I can endure these contractions and get this baby to at least 35 weeks (or until my water breaks or doctors are really concerned).  The suffering will all be worth it when we have another healthy baby boy in our arms.  

With that, I leave you with a quote from Thomas S. Monson's most recent General Relief Society address,  It gave me comfort this morning.  ". .  .Your Heavenly Father loves you—each of you. That love never changes. It is not influenced by your appearance, by your possessions, or by the amount of money you have in your bank account. It is not changed by your talents and abilities. It is simply there. It is there for you when you are sad or happy, discouraged or hopeful. God’s love is there for you whether or not you feel you deserve love. It is simply always there.

As we seek our Heavenly Father through fervent, sincere prayer and earnest, dedicated scripture study, our testimonies will become strong and deeply rooted. We will know of God’s love for us. We will understand that we do not ever walk alone. I promise you that you will one day stand aside and look at your difficult times, and you will realize that He was always there beside you. I know this to be true . : ." 

Day 27: Staying Put

Tomorrow I'll be 31 weeks, which is exciting.  This baby is definitely a mover.  B and J have been able feel him move for awhile but in the last few days, they can see him move from one side of my tummy to the other and literally see a fist, elbow, or foot protrude out for a few seconds.   Baby Boy and I are getting closer to term slowly but surely even with continued contractions/pre-term labor.  I have a doctor's appointment on Wednesday so I'll keep you posted on my progress and hope my cervix is still stable.  We're hoping that's the case because the longer I can hold out on a hospital stay (the doctor will bring me in if my cervix shortens 5 more millimeters or contractions get more regular again) and the longer Baby Boy stays put, the better.

Today was a nice Sunday on bed rest, even with occasional contractions.  I read and listened to Conference talks while everyone was at Church, I played a computer game and read with B, and we ate a nice dinner my mother-in-law made.  J took B home so B can go to school in the morning and I'm staying here for a few more days so J can study and my mother-in-law doesn't have to run back and forth so much.   B will come back here after school so J can work and study and not have to take care of me.  It's a struggle to figure out what's best for all of us these days, and we don't want to stress B out anymore than we already have, so we'll see how this new plan works and go from there.  Wish us luck.  J's test will be over in two weeks (Pray he passes his state boards!) and I only have 5 more weeks of strict bed rest, so we'll just keep plugging along and doing our best even if it's a literal struggle for me to stay put sometimes.