Day 61: Bed Rest Survival Tips

Me on one of my last days of bed rest!   (Hopefully, I still have to wait for the doctor's OK on Monday afternoon).

In honor of my second to last day of bed rest, I figured I'd share how I've made it through these last two months of laying down for the sake of Baby Boy.  Bed rest sounds like a dream to some people:  a hiatus from dishes, childcare, work, and other responsibilities.  But with it comes emotional turmoil, isolation, physical discomfort, restlessness, and family stressors.  I learned that firsthand as I went from an independent, productive, mobile member of society to the exact opposite.  Bed rest was difficult, but I can honestly say that it works.  There's no way Baby and I would have made it this far without it.  My contractions which increase with activity would not have been kept at bay without bed rest intervention, and without "pelvic rest," my cervix would have been too short (effaced) to continue to carry this baby.  As I look at it, I bought this baby 61 NICU-free days with bed rest, and I did it by doing the following (in no particular order):

1. I knew I was not alone.  800,000 women are put on bed rest each year according to the US Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology, so I knew I was in good company.  I also had a support system in my friends and family.  My husband, J, has been especially great and so has my mother-in-law.  These two wonderful people took on the responsibilities I could no longer perform and J was good at reminding me why I was doing this.  Friends and family members brought in meals, visited, sent cards or emails, called, did laundry, helped with chores, and cared for B.  I also had an online support system.  Facebook brought friends and family a little closer and blogs and Sidelines.org. got me in contact with fellow bed-resting mamas.  All of these associations kept me clued into the world and not throw a daily pity party.
2. I knew bed rest was temporary.  My first days of bed rest seemed to last "forever," but I had to remember that while the days are long, bed rest wasn't a permanent thing.  Focusing on making it through a day at a time and marking the days and weeks off on my calendar helped.  Now that I'm close to being able to get up and around the last two months don't seem as long, and I know once this baby comes and I'm sleep-deprived I'll probably be wishing for a day of bed rest.
3. I kept a routine.  I woke up and ate at the same time every day.  I also had meals with my family so I was not so isolated (even if that meant me with a tray and them at the table).  I took a daily bath or shower and got dressed every day, even if it was just in new pajamas.  Once I was far enough along in my pregnancy where I could stand longer to get ready for the day, I found I felt so much better when I got dressed in real clothes and I wasn't lying around in my pjs all day, feeling like a "sickie".    Whether I was scheduling movie time, time for social media, or housekeeping items (like bill paying), I tried to structure my day so I didn't feel so dull.  I also didn't let day and night turn into one long blur.  In the morning, I had J open the curtains and kept busy all day so I was less likely to nap all day and lie awake all night.  Another thing I loved was having a mattress in the front room so I could be in there with my family during the day and then go to my bed at night.  It helped to separate my days and nights and made sleep come easier too.
4. I let people help.  I can't say I ever stopped feeling guilty for not being able to help B and for over-burdening J, but I did let go of the guilt of leaving dirty dishes and laundry for someone else to do.  I realized things weren't going to be done my way and let things go.  I had others vacuum, take B to and from school, watch B, shop, and do other things for me.  I also had meals brought in and even lived with my in-laws for two weeks when J was overwhelmed with state boards and taking on my responsibilities.  It was hard, but letting go and allowing people to serve me was really the only way I was able to do this.
5. We found a "bed rest normal."  When Mom is on bed rest, life is not normal for anyone, especially your child(ren) and husband who also have emotional reactions to the changes bed rest brings.  I learned to replace our old routines with new ones.  For example, instead of picking B up from school, I read with and spent time with him directly after school.  I did my shopping online, spent time with J and B doing things we could do while I was laying down, and made lists to help J and others keep our house running.  I also had to remember that not everything was going to be perfect.  I had to let go of the fact that J didn't use coupons, that B slept in my bed for his comfort and my ease on J's work nights, that B threw some fits, that the bathroom wasn't cleaned "my" way, etc.  
6. I celebrated the milestones.  Sometimes just getting through a day of bed rest is an achievement, so on those days, I allowed myself a daily treat (like a bubble bath, a bowl of ice cream, or back rub from my husband).  But usually, I just celebrated my weekly developmental periods (like 28 or 32 weeks) by rewarding myself with something significant like a pedicure or takeout from a favorite restaurant.   My doctor also allowed me a standing photo each week, starting at 30 weeks, and that helped me celebrate the important milestones.  Rewards were very motivating and kept me optimistic. 
7. I kept busy.  Not all my time was productive, but I did keep busy reading, blogging, watching LOTS of movies and TV shows (like Top Chef),  playing word games, and doing Sudoku puzzles.  Thanks to the tablet computer I was able to borrow from my father-in-law, I caught up on the last two and a half years of General Conference, did our taxes, and edited family photos.  I also tried my hand at crocheting for the first time, shopped online, and did other things to help prepare for Baby's arrival.  Even if there was no one around to high five when I got the high score on Bejeweled, I kept my mind and hands occupied while laying down and that helped keep me sane.
8. I kept things handy.  Bed rest results in a loss of control, and I hated to be dependent on others for EVERYTHING and to keep having them fetch things for me.  So I put a basket by my bed full of the stuff I need on a daily basis (a pad of paper, a nail file, puzzles, games, my phone, thank you notes, reading material, the portable DVD player, etc.).  I also had a bedside cooler for when nobody was around.  A tray for meals, a clipboard, and this computer tablet were also keys to my successful stint on bed rest.
9. I did gentle bed rest exercises as my doctor permitted.  Bed rest leaves muscles feeling fatigued and laying down 24/7 gets uncomfortable.  I exercised as much as permitted to help maintain my muscular strength and circulation.  I did leg slides, hip flexers, abdominal breathing, arm stretches, and ankle circles.  Just moving my arms and legs kept me invigorated and gave me a pick-me-up every few hours. 
10. I resisted feeling as though I was doing "nothing." I revised my notion of productivity after the first few days.  I realized having a movie marathon or playing Bookworm for an hour was acceptable for my situation and kept reminding myself that I am making a baby, and needed to rest.  Remembering this allowed me to stay positive.  As I said, I gave my baby 61 NICU-free days because of bed rest, and that is definitely an accomplishment, not a "nothing."