Day 64: Worry Wart

It's been nice to be up and around today, without any movement restrictions.  I've managed to get a lot done, especially in comparison to the minimum amount of things I got done while on bed rest. Even with the distractions of cleaning the kitchen, attending playgroup with B, and grocery shopping for a few essentials, I am still worried about Baby Boy. I think moms start worrying about their children as soon as they find out they're pregnant, and don't stop worrying about them even when they're grown adults, of any age.  Although I am at the 36 week mark, I am still worried and will probably still worry until this baby is here, safe and healthy. 

I am dilated to a one and 70% effaced, and that could mean labor will occur sooner rather than later, but then again, who knows?  The real issue is that my doctor discussed more of my risk factors with me yesterday, and I can't stop thinking about them.  These risk factors could mean nothing, or they could mean serious complications for Baby Boy.  Whatever be the case, this pregnancy is even more of risk than we originally thought.  I thought being taken off of bed rest would leave me feeling less stressed, but I'm just as stressed now as I was when I went into labor nine weeks ago, but for different reasons.  In some ways, I just want him to get here so we can make sure he's fine, but in other ways, I know the longer he stays in utero, the better.  I just have to stop worrying about all the POSSIBLE risks and just keep plugging along.

My amniotic fluid levels are a tiny bit on the high end, so I have very mild polyhydramnios. I have 20.5 centimeters of fluid, which is only a  1/2  centimeter above the norm, so doctors aren't too worried at this point.  But if it the levels get higher in the next few weeks, it could be indicative of a huge problem for baby such as esophageal issues where the baby isn't swallowing correctly, heart and neurological defects, and fetal abnormalities.  There is also a higher risk of placental abruption or prolapse during birth, as well as postpartum hemorrhaging.  Thankfully, I don't really have any of the risk factors associated with high water (a tummy measuring weeks ahead, a baby measuring much larger than normal, third trimester bleeding, severe abdominal pain, and swelling of the limbs).  The milder the case of polhydramnios, the better, so I have that going for me, as fluid levels are only slightly higher than normal.  I am further cheered by the fact that ultrasounds haven't shown anything wrong with the baby and from the looks of the ultrasound yesterday, it look like his kidneys, heart, and bladder are functioning properly.  More often than not, higher fluid levels do not lead to any complications, so I'm pretty sure these results are just causing me unnecessary worry, but it's still unnerving.   

The doctor also wants me to measure Baby Boy's movements every night to make sure Baby is still active and not in possible distress.  Today and yesterday he's been moving just fine, but this weekend, it seemed like movement decreased significantly. Doctors explained that's likely because he's even more cramped than most babies because of my uterine abnormality and doesn't have a lot of room to move.  Higher fluid levels can make movements harder to detect, as can the fact that he's facing my back and is very low in my pelvis.  So I'll be vigilant about "kick counts" and I'm sure if I'm watching closely, I'll notice them more than I did this weekend, just as I have in the past two days.  I was glad to have the ultrasound yesterday to make sure everything  Baby was moving and growing OK, and I pray that everything continues to be that way.

I also tested positive for Group B Strep (25% of women are natural carriers without even knowing it).  This means that I will need antibiotics during labor to keep the baby from contracting it when coming through the birth canal.  For babies, Strep B can be extremely dangerous and even fatal.  I'm sure that with the antibiotics, the baby  will be fine.  That just means I need to get to the hospital with enough time for them to administer the antibiotics.  Sometimes women who have a history of pre-term labor progress very quickly once actual labor ensues, so the doctor wants me to arrive when I'm having contractions about 7 minutes apart and lasting 40 seconds or more, rather than the 4-5 minutes apart they tell most women.  That way, they will have enough time to administer the anti-strep medication and the epidural I'm looking forward to.  If my water breaks, I have to go in as soon as possible so there aren't any complications caused to the baby because of the strep.  I'm assuming I'll know when I am in actual labor (though I don't know when that will be) and be able to get to the hospital and get the antibiotics in time, but it's another issue that causes me worry. 

There are most likely no problems with Baby Boy's development and even with the risk factors, everything should turn out fine for the remainder of my pregnancy, during labor and delivery, and after birth.  I am trying to stay optimistic and not look at research on the above issues that just freaks me out.  I'm also trying to remember that I am in the hands of capable doctors who are just preparing me for the worst, as most likely, none of these things will cause any harm to the baby - I've decided sometimes being less educated about issues like this, is better and leads to less worry.  Even with the likelihood of a good outcome, prayers that everything goes well with the remainder of this pregnancy (how ever long that will be) and that Baby Boy will be born healthy are appreciated.  And maybe saying a prayer for me not to worry so much would help too.