Day 15: Home again, home again, jiggity-jig

Ok, I can't do a jig while on bed rest, but you can. I'm glad to be home from the hospital, and I think the boys are glad to have me back too, though Bryson asked if I could stay so he could keep sleeping in our bed with Daddy and watch more movies.  After monitoring the baby and me for contractions last night and this morning and only seeing one or two contractions each time, they released me to bed rest at home.  I have to admit it is much better doing it at home.  J even let me lay propped up on the couch for awhile after the doctor said I can be in a reclined position for a few minutes each day. 

J straightened up the house for my return.  I'm learning to let him do things his way and to not pay attention to little messes or piles.  He's working his butt off to take care of me and B, going to his job, preparing for his upcoming nursing exam, and also taking on my responsibilities.  I'm very grateful for that and love him for supporting me through this.

After being at the hospital for 48 hours, I really enjoyed watching B play today (he dressed his doll in the preemie outfit he picked out the other day).  My in-laws came to celebrate New Year's with us.  We played Rummy Cube and we wore the New Year's hats B made while counting down to the New Year at 9 p.m before B went to bed.  My mother-in-law is spending the night because J went to work tonight and I can't get up to help B.  I've had a little cramping and few contractions tonight, but at least I can rest assured that  Baby Boy will not make his appearance in the year 2013.

J says this self-interview video is super cheesy but I wanted to get the baby's heartbeat on video.

Day 14: Staying Overnight Again (29 Weeks)

After getting three shots of Terbutaline last night, my preterm contractions finally slowed to a minimum.  But around 2 this morning, my contractions came back with a vengeance.  Mercifully, though, I didn't really feel them as intensely because they gave me Ambien, a medication to help me sleep and relax my uterus.   When the contractions didn't stop, the nurse gave me another shot of Terbutaline around 5 a.m.  Within twenty minutes of getting the first shot, my contractions stopped completely, and she didn't need to give me the remaining two doses.  The Terbutaline seems to have successfully interrupted my body's contraction cycles, though the doctor doesn't expect my uterus to "be completely quiet," and I was told to still expect occasional (keyword here) contractions, as my body IS still in preterm labor.  My uterine muscles have honestly not felt this relaxed in weeks, and that relaxation has brought great physical relief.  I was still nervous about the contractions coming back like they did last night, so I am having them keep me overnight again so they can monitor me.  So far today I've only had four contractions, and those were after I was active (like when I got up to shower or walked down the hall to see the perinatologist).  One contraction an hour is to be expected in my case, but the eight to ten I was having in an hour yesterday were not.

 

I visited the perinatologist (high risk pregnancy specialist) this afternoon and got an ultrasound, though Baby Boy is too low in my pelvis for the ultrasound techs to get a profile or face shot.  The good news is Baby Boy looks good, my fluid levels are great, and although my cervix is still a lot shorter than it should be (1.5 cm. instead of the normal 3.5+ cm at 29 weeks), it has remained the same length in the last few days, despite contractions.  The doctor also said that although Baby Boy is low, because my cervix is stable, birth isn't imminent yet.  It actually looks like he's mostly in the smaller horn of my bicornuate uterus (the left side), so as my cervix has shortened, he's settled there to be able to stretch out and have enough room. That gave me some reassurance, as did hearing there are still more measures that can be taken to stop labor if contractions start up again in the near future.  I can also get another series of steroid shots to help Baby Boy's development if it looks like he'll be born before 34 weeks.  So there's still hope for a more to term baby, which is very good news because Baby Boy would only be about 2 pounds, 10 ounces if born right now.  That's only the 36th percentile for weight at this gestational age so he's on the smaller side.  Now that preterm labor has been stopped, my prayers are now for this baby to grow.

 

J and B spent the morning at home so B wasn't bored while I laid in my hospital bed and saw doctors.  He needed a chance to play (I think there was more movie-watching than playing going on, but I'm OK with that at the moment).  The funny thing is that Jarom woke up with B's feet in his mouth.  (I've always told Jarom that I have trouble sleeping next to Bryson because of all the moving and fidgeting he does, and he finally believes me, but B still isn't he moves around too much, even after the feet incident).  They did come by for a few hours after lunch and a visit to the library, around the same time they transferred me from a labor and delivery room to a mom/baby room.  (This bed is a lot more comfortable than the labor bed I was in last night and most of the day). B wanted to be J's twin today, so they both dressed in plaid shirts, jeans, and brown baseball hats.  It's pretty cute how much this boy idolizes his Daddy.  Soon I'll really be out-numbered with boys at our house.   

B enjoyed watching a movie in bed with me, getting snacks from the patient lounge with Daddy, and dancing around my room to Disney songs.  Sorry the quality of the dance video isn't great, but I had to share.  Watching him "get down" and hanging out with my boys (my husband and son) was the highlight of my day as was having my contractions successfully stopped so Baby Boy doesn't come any earlier than he has to!

Day 13: Hospitalized

My mother-in-law took B again this morning so J and I could rest (J worked last night) and she could take him to church.  I spent the day listening to conference talks, wrote in my journal, and had a visit from a friend.  The day was pleasant enough, but I had several contractions throughout the day.  By late afternoon, the contractions were coming about six minutes apart and wouldn't stop even after I took my contraction-blocking medicine (Nifedipine/Procardia).  So, tonight, I'm in the hospital dilated to a little less than a 1 and 30%+ effaced and doctors are getting my preterm labor under control.  I just had three shots of Terbutaline to stop the contractions that were coming every 2-3 minutes.  The shots made me shaky and caused my heart to race super fast (over 145 beats per minute) and Baby Boy went nuts in my stomach, too.  I did not like the way the injections made me feel at all, but they did help stop the contractions from coming as frequently.  In fact, they've pretty much stopped now, and we're thankful for that.

Hopefully the medicine will stop the contraction cycle completely and I can soon go home to bed rest and focus on getting this baby to term.  (And to think that last week, I couldn't imagine saying I wanted to be on bed rest).  That way I don't have to disrupt our lives more than I have to.  Poor J is still recovering from  his snowboarding injuries, he's caring for B, and he's working hard at his job and at home by taking on my responsibilities, so this preterm labor situation is stressful for him.  I've also turned B's world upside down the last few days.  He tried so hard to stay busy and fall asleep here so J could stay with me, but he was uncomfortable so J took him home to bed.  B rode out in the wheelchair because he was so sleepy, and he thought that was fun.  But the last thing he said before he left was that he's tired of the hospital since we've been here several times in the last three weeks. 

Tomorrow I'll be 29 weeks, so we're coming along, but still have a ways to go.  29 weeks is just not long enough.  Thanks for your continued thoughts and prayers. They are being felt.

Day 12: A Better Day

Baby Boy has dropped even more since yesterday and I look visibly less pregnant  (though that doesn't mean labor is imminent yet, thank goodness).  That's a little worrisome, but I'm continuing to pray this baby stays put, dropped or not.  I am also thankful for the prayers other people are saying for me and this baby.  I've had several contractions today, but I am managing to stay positive and busy.   My mother in law took Mr. B today so J could work and I could bed rest.  B had a blast playing in a fort he made from the box from their new oven.  My mother-in-law braided my hair before they left, B left me a love note, and I watched several movies and read.  B also picked out a baby outfit and some activities to help occupy my time.  That was definitely a morale booster after yesterday.  All in all, it was not a bad day of bed rest.  

Day 11: A Blow to the Ego- Still Progressing

After being cooped up in the house for almost two weeks and only getting out of bed to use the bathroom for the last four days, I was ready for an outing.  You know you're hard up when a doctor's appointment is the highlight of your day!  But because I have trouble sleeping at night after resting all day, I ignored the alarm this morning.  Of course today was also the day B slept in because of his cold, and J, who has been working a stretch of nights, didn't wake up either.  So we all woke up at 9, the same time as my appointment, but we rushed to the OB office anyway.  Somehow I spilled  my water all over J on the way there, so I came in flustered and J came in agitated and wet.  Thankfully, the doctor still managed to get me in for my appointment even though we were over a half hour late. 

I was very disappointed to hear from the ultrasound tech that my cervix has shortened eight more millimeters since Monday, even with bed rest.  I've felt occasional contractions the last few weeks, and have noticed them more while laying down all day, but I was hoping they wouldn't cause cervical change now that I'm totally inactive.  Unfortunately, they have.  I couldn't help but feel like my bed-resting efforts over the last 96 hours were in vain, though J reminded me that it could be worse if I wasn't being diligent about bed rest.  He's right, but it was still an emotional blow that caused tears throughout the day and made me even more worried about the possibility of an extremely premature baby, and I was super stressed and basically an emotional wreck.  J has a hard time dealing with crying and doesn't really know how to help me, but he's being as supportive as possible, especially since he's still not feeling so great with his broken bones and taking on all my responsibilities.  I tried to hold it in, but I still got weepy several times and if J didn't notice, B would say, "Dad, Mom's crying again." It was just an emotional blow to hear that bed rest hasn't kept preterm labor from progressing and I was upset that I'm not a better baby carrier.

The baby's head has also dropped further into my pelvis (ready for delivery) so he's putting more pressure on my cervix and making my uterus measure 25 weeks rather than 28, which also has me worried.  In fact, his head is so far down, the ultrasound tech couldn't even get a face or profile shot like I was hoping for.  Baby Boy is only 2 pounds,10 ounces so WAY too small to be born, and he still has A LOT of developing to do.  Thankfully my cervix is still closed (not dilated) so my doctor said I could continue bed rest at home as long as I comply to strict bed rest.  J has been quite the "bed rest enforcer" ("Lay down, let me get it.  Quit lifting thing!  You're laying crooked.").  B also tattles when I get up, even if I'm going to the bathroom.  J keeps reminding me that bed rest is for the best and I'm lucky to be doing it at home where I can be with my family (and see B for more than 45 minutes a day), have resources (DVDs, games, computer, books, etc.), and be able to wear my own pajamas, shower, and use the bathroom rather than a bed-pan at the hospital.  He's right; I am lucky, even though bed rest is not easy nor ideal.  So enough of the pity-party; I can do this for Baby Boy!

 

I have another appointment in a week and if I'm at all dilated or if my cervix measures less than a centimeter (which is not too far off), they'll admit me to the hospital until labor can no longer be stopped with medication and other measures.   I'm praying that doesn't happen so I can stay at home on bed rest.  Doctors are hoping for 34 weeks, but realistically think he'll come at 32.  I'm hoping and praying for 36 even if that means more bed rest. My condition is nerve-wracking, but delivery isn't imminent yet and my body held out before even when dilated, so it can hold out again.

 

I just have to have a good attitude and take it one day at a time and remember each day Baby Boy stays in the womb is a victory.  I know I can't dictate everything as far as when this baby actually arrives, but I can do my part by remaining as still as possible and keeping weight off my cervix and keeping contractions at bay.  I am trying to count my blessings and find joy in the simple things (like snuggling with B while we work on reading, a daily shower or bath, and being waited on). 

 

I have decided to find moments each day that get me through.  Today's highlights were seeing B conduct the music he was listening to (the Piano Guys) with Legos, playing the Headbanz game and laughing with B, and that J tried numerous times to make me feel better even though I'm sure he is exasperated with his hormonal and weepy wife.  My gratitude moment was that my mother-in-law came over to help with B while J is at work, and  she did some housework and brought dinner.

 

When it comes down to it, there is hope (even if I'm scared about the possibility of a pre-mature baby).  There are numerous success stories about mothers with the similar prenatal issues as mine having babies that make it almost or to- term with bed rest.  I know that prayers are answered and that my faith can get me through.  Even though it's hard, Baby Boy is so worth this and I have to remember I'm doing this for him!

Day 10: The Day After Christmas

I'm getting into more of a routine to make this bed rest journey a little easier.  I can't control my crazy uterus or the fact that I have to be on bed rest so this baby isn't born any earlier than he has to be, but I can control how I spend my day.  In the last few days, I've been looking at other bed rest blogs and each one talked about the importance of a routine in maintaining sanity while on bed rest.  So today I came up with a schedule to guide my day and came up with some bed-rest friendly activities.  One blogger I read about was on bed rest for 123 days (blog.bedrestboutique.com).  That's four months, and she got to 37.5 weeks, so I know this can work, I just have to be patient (and thankfully,  I won't be on bed rest for that long).  Each day gets a little easier as I surrender to bed rest and find things to occupy my time.

While I rested, J took B to see Frozen and convinced him to get out of the pajamas he's been in for two days.  He even asked why he needs to get dressed when Mom doesn't (though, for the record, he didn't realize that I put on new pajama bottoms and comfortable maternity shirt every day).  They liked the movie, but thought it had "too many loud songs."  In fact, B kept covering his ears, but that could be because he has a cold.  B has a pretty bad little cough, and J had to give him some medicine before bed, but he didn't let the cold faze him much today.  He did a lot of playing with the toys and books he got for Christmas yesterday, and I enjoyed watching him do that.  J got me some RedBox movies that we watched together, and working on this blog is also keeping me busy.  Each day gets a little easier and strict bed rest isn't as overwhelming as it was a few days ago (though complete inactivity like this can be mind-numbing and even physically draining).  I'm learning to let things go (like the dishes in the sink) and to have J wait on me as I just lay low for the optimal health of Baby Boy.  

 

 

Day 9: Christmas Day

I was overwhelmed yesterday by the whole idea of strict bed rest, but I think I did most of my grieving over the loss of my activity through all my whining and complaining to J, so today was better.  I'm starting to come to terms with the fact that I need to be laying down all day for the health of Baby Boy, but I still had an occasional pity-party today.  It helped that J and B were home all day and that it was Christmas Day.  Time seemed to pass a little quicker than it did yesterday, so that was nice. 

I loved seeing B's excitement when he got up this morning.  He couldn't wait for me to come lay down in the living room so he could show me that Santa came.  His face when opening his presents was priceless, and I loved watching him as he ripped off the paper and showed us what he got.  Last year he seemed to play primarily with only two or three of the toys we got him, and only glanced at the several others we got him.  But this year, B played with every single toy we got him and looked at every single book.  I was content to just lay and watch J go through his day and watch B while he played all day.  It was especially fun to see B use all his new toys and blocks to build a city that caged in his new dragons and Skylanders figures.  He's a creative boy, and he loved "playing all day."  I liked that we were able to have a fun family day even while I was laying on a bed on the floor.  It was totally normal for B and J, despite the fact that I can't get up.

It was also nice to have my in-laws over.  They made out traditional Christmas dinner:  prime rib and mashed potatoes and brought it over so we could eat it.  It was so good and tasted even better than I remember, probably because we didn't have to make it.  We opened our gifts from J's family:  Legos, a Piano Guys CD, and a geoboard for B, cookie sheets and baby gear for me, and movie tickets and an Amazon gift card for J.  We watched The Croods and just enjoyed our time together.  It was a nice Christmas even while I was laid up, and I'll look back next year with a healthy new baby and think that this time on bed rest was just a blip on the radar of life.  As hard as it is to lay down all day, it is so worth a healthy baby, and if nothing else, being on bed rest made it a memorable Christmas.

  

Day 8: Christmas Eve (28 Weeks)

Today marks day 8 of bed rest and 24 hours of being on strict bed rest, without getting out of bed.  I know bed rest sounds like a vacation to some people, but it's not so much fun, especially when you're not allowed to even sit up and it lasts for more than a day.  I'm a person who always wants to be on the move and it's hard to not be able to help little B or sit at the computer (thankfully my father-in-law loaned me his tablet computer for the time being, but laying down I can only type one-handed so it takes awhile).  J made me a bed in the front room that I can be in during the day to be with him and B as much as possible and then move to the bedroom at night.  That way I have a little structure to my day and  a change of scenery and can hopefully still sleep at night even after resting all day.  I figured strict bed rest would be an emotional journey, but didn't realize how physically draining it is.  After only 29 hours on strict bed rest, my back hurts, my arms ache from holding books and supporting myself, and I feel cramped up, but that shouldn't last forever.  B was very sweet upon realizing that I was having a hard time with bed rest and said, "Mom, It's OK, I'll come lay with you sometimes."  That made me cry and realize I got him here with bed rest, albeit modified rather than strict bed rest, so I can do it for Baby Number Two.

Even with Sudoku puzzles, movies, books, visitors, and Christmas Eve activities, the hours passed slowly, and I couldn't help but feel a few times today like I'm in prison and J is my warden.  He kept saying things like, "You're practically sitting up again with the way those pillows are propped up; lay down." "You're laying crooked, that's not good for your back," etc.   I want to be up putting presents under the tree and playing with B, but I can't, and that's disheartening.  Funny enough though, I have no guilt about not being able to do dishes or push a vacuum.  As difficult as it is, I know staying down is the best thing for Baby Boy, so rather than wallow in the misery that brought occasional tears and feeling sorry for myself, I'm going to make the most of it.  I'm going to take J's advice and be optimistic and take it one day at a time and focus on the positives.

The highlights of this day of bed rest were hearing B sing Christmas carols, seeing his excitement about putting out cookies for Santa and food for the reindeer, and being with B, J, and my in-laws for the evening.  Another blessing was that the lady from Whole Foods gave us the turkey dinner we ordered for tonight completely free after hearing our pathetic story from my mother-in-law (All it took was mentioning me on bed rest, J with numerous broken bones, and us trying our best to take care of our five year old).  That's the Christmas spirit for you!  Plus, as J reminded me frequently, I'm home with my family celebrating Christmas and our Savior's birth, and I am not in the hospital.  And there's the fact that baby is still in utero and I'm now 28 weeks and 1 day pregnant!  So there are many things to be grateful for even if bed rest is difficult.  Merry Christmas from our family (including Baby Boy) to yours!

Days 1-7: Bed Rest Week 1 (27 Weeks)

It was one week ago that I received the disappointing news:  I was sentenced to bed rest at 27 weeks pregnant with our second child, another boy.  I received this verdict because I am guilty of cervical insufficency (also known as cervical incompetence) and being in possession of an extremely irritable bicornuate uterus that contracts too early.  Thankfully I can serve my sentence at home and not at a local correctional facility ie. the hospital. 

Because I experienced similar issues with our first child, B, who was born at 35 weeks, doctors have been measuring my cervix since I  was 16 weeks along with this baby.  They put me on the hormone Progesterone to keep my cervix from shortening (effacing) and dilating  too early like it did before .  As of 24 weeks, my cervical length was within average range, and it was deemed that a cervical stitch (cerclage) shouldn't be used in my case because I have early contractions.  The possibility of uterine rupture is their main concern.  At that point, I was released from the care of the perinatologist (high-risk pregnancy specialist) to go back to my OB for full-care, because the specialist thought I was in good shape. 

But about two and a half weeks ago (25 1/2 weeks, about the same time my husband, J, broke his scapula, hip, and several ribs in a snowboarding accident), I started having contractions.   My cervix also measured far shorter than it should at this stage,  just like during my first pregnancy.  Last week (27 weeks), I went to the doctor who prescribed bed rest after further cervical effacement and a positive fetal Fibronectin test which tests for preterm labor.  Their hope is that laying down 24/7 will keep the pressure of my growing uterus off my cervix and keep it from further effacement and any dilation because it's way too early for this baby to come.  I also got steroid shots last week to help develop the baby's lungs this week in case of a pre-term birth. 

Interestingly enough, I went into labor at 27 weeks with our first born five and a half years ago and was put on modified bed rest with him.  It seems that as soon as my babies get around the 2 pound mark, my cervix has a hard time handling it without causing contractions and pre-term dilation.  I held out until 35 weeks with B, so I can hold out again, and hopefully for longer this time.

Last week, I started taking medicine to stop the contractions, I stopped doing housework and cooking, and I stayed in bed or on the couch as much as possible.  But I have to admit I was up and around way more than I should have been.  I helped our son get meals and picked him up from kindergarten, I took J to doctor's appointments for his broken bones since he couldn't drive himself, I washed dishes, and I wrapped presents.  I also drove a scooter around at the store to stock up on what we needed while B and J (who was pushing with the arm that isn't in a sling) followed me with the cart.

I guess one might say that last week, I more so took it easy or did modified bed rest as opposed to the prescribed strict bed rest.  But this afternoon after further cervical change, my doctor said she'd bring me into the hospital, away from my family, if I didn't comply with her bed rest rules  -- laying horizontal 24 hours a day, only sitting up for meals and getting up to go to the bathroom.  Being active puts too much strain on my cervix, and the bottom line is this baby needs more time, and I can get that only through strict bed rest and no activity.  J feels validated because he's been telling me all week to stop doing the things I've been doing.  The doctor scared me by talking about the realities of a baby born this early. So I've been laying on my back or side for the last few hours, and I have to admit, I already want to get up, but I know I need to stay down for the sake of this baby.  Above is a photo of me and B from week one of "bed rest."  I just have to keep telling myself that bedrest will be worth it in the end.